Feel the Fear…….


It’s March and to be honest, I’m pleased. Like most people I love the Spring and as the first daffodils appear they seem to bring with them a new sense of hope and a renewed energy to move forward and accomplish new things.

Well, that’s the intention, but getting round to actually doing what I intend to do can be a bit problematic sometimes.  I think sometimes I’m a bit like the daffodils……I start with great energy for a plan that, in my mind, will definitely come to fruition. But as time moves on, opportunities move closer, just as the daffodils open to their fullness….and then, somehow I’m inclined to let them slide by. Like the daffodils, the moment has passed and I am still where I am, no further forward. Which is not to say I don’t like doing what I’m doing. And perhaps it is a sense of contentment which means I am happy to be where I am and for that I am grateful. But I am suddenly conscious of the passage of time, so many opportunities coming and going and me not making the most of them. Is it fear or shyness or is it just me over-thinking? I’ll work on that one and let you know.

Anyway, talking of a kind of fear, for ages the date of 28th February loomed large in my mind. I had received a very wonderful invitation to support the Friends of Truro Cathedral in a fund-raising evening. The idea being that the lovely Dean of Truro, Roger Bush, would turn the tables and I would be on the other side of the microphone for a change. I am very comfortable asking the questions, but the idea of being asked about myself and my life was a very different prospect. My inner shyness kicking in once again. I declined the invitation twice but on the third go, I accepted and it was then that I found myself counting the days with a ridiculous kind of dread. After all, nobody would turn up and it would be so humiliating I would have to avoid the Cathedral for evermore. But I had no option now but to feel the fear and do it anyway.

And, how funny, the evening turned out to be one of nicest and most special I have had in a long time. In the event, lots of lovely gracious people turned up and the Dean was very kind in his line of questioning, it was a lot of fun and I realised that unless you really do grasp the opportunities that come your way, you can miss out on so much. I even found myself recounting my all-time most embarrassing moment….it involved the legendary, David Jacobs. Don’t ask…but he was wonderful and thankfully it all turned out alright in the end 🙂 Maybe one day I’ll share it here too.

Anyway,  I have decided, with the beginning of Spring, that I am going to embrace each new opportunity, put aside the fear or feel it and do it anyway.I  hope you are able to do that too. Perhaps it is a good new attitude to adopt for Lent.

And just a thought, although it’s Spring, it has been very icy this week and when it is bleak and grey I always think of another of my favourite songs which transports me to the cliffs overlooking Port Quin in North Cornwall…….”Winter” by Tori Amos.  If you have a minute to listen to it, I hope you enjoy it too.bush-one

Thank you for reading this …….  here’s a photo of the lovely evening at Truro Cathedral and another of the north Cornwall cliffs (courtesy of the National Trust.)















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